Thursday, May 17, 2007

New Political Party

I was reading old e-mail archives, and I came across an idea I had from 1999. Ah, the good old days...

I have decided to create a new political party. The working name is the Apathetic Liberals. The reasoning behind my action is that there are a lot of people who see that social issues in this country haven't been addressed as well as could be, but that there's not a lot a single person can do, so why bother ourselves with it?

If a person answers most of the following questions in the affirmative, then he or she is a good potential member of the Apathetic Liberals Party (ALP).

  1. Do you feel bad about the fact that there are homeless people?

  2. Would you rather watch TV than volunteer at a soup kitchen?

  3. Does the idea of politics seem to be a bit unpleasant?

  4. Would you prefer not to have the likes of the Republicans, the Democrats, the Reformers, or the Miscellaneous Wackos running the country?

  5. Have you ever avoided giving money to a panhandler by refusing to make eye contact and muttering some excuse under your breath?

  6. On those occasions when you do decide to vote, are you mildly surprised by the number of candidates and issues on the ballot?

  7. Do you think that political ad campaigns on television should be limited to the week before the election, if they are allowed at all?

  8. Should news media coverage of candidates be pre-empted with stories about more interesting things, such as where to find the best deal on your mortgage, or how the local sports teams are performing?

  9. Did you quit answering this questionnaire before reaching the end?

***Possible slogans for the ALP***

  • It's more of a whim than a philosophy.

  • Who cares?

  • What can I do about it?

  • It's not my fault; I didn't vote for anybody.

  • No thank you. I'm not interested.

If you know of potential members of the party, please invite them to join. If we get enough grass roots support, we might be able to put candidates on local or national ballots next year, except that the best candidates won't care enough to run.

I thought about introducing the concept of the Apathetic Conservative Party so that the slightly right of center would have something to do, but frankly, they would have exactly the same platform, and additionally, I don't really care.

Have a great day, and remember, early to bed and early to rise, something something whatever.

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