Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Next Stage in Human Evolution

There is a mall down the street from my office. I went there today for lunch with a co-worker whose blog name I'll have to ponder, but for today, we'll call him Big Gay Al. We had a nice lunch at a food court place that sells an odd collection of chicken-related food, hamburgers, and Greek food. I think the very Mediterranean-looking gentleman who came out of the back to help the cash register person may have something to do with that last bit. The cash register lady and the cook may be co-owners, because she told me that they were opening a second location in January, after I expressed interest in the business and the high quality of the food and service.

As we were walking to get a little exercise, we passed by one of those wretched Dead Sea Salt places. I tried to avoid the aggressive kiosk guy, Alon from Israel ("It sounds like 'alone,' but I am not alone."), but Big Gay Al was in the mood to be entertained and to flirt a little. Once Alon figured out that Big Gay Al may be interested in buying, but that I was just barely tolerant of his sales spiel, Alon turned on the charm with Big Gay Al and let me back slowly away, but I didn't escape without smearing some greasy salt all over my hands. Maybe it removed toxins or something.

Big Gay Al ended up buying a year's supply of greasy salt (about a pint). At one point, Big Gay Al remarked to Alon, "You seem to have a thing about babies' bottoms." Alon is new to our culture, and I think the snark went right over his head. We moved on.

Remember when we discussed whether a person wearing a monocle and holding a plunger on a Segway was functionally equivalent to a Dalek? I saw a mall security guard wearing a bicycle helmet and riding a Segway. I had to stop and get a picture. I had no choice. Behold the next stage in human evolution - the Mallek.

1 comment:

Hoji said...

If Daleks take over the earth, it will be because Homeland Security thought it was a damn good idea at the time.