Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Act Now!

We went to the local home and garden show at the convention center where local and national companies display their wares. The Kubota tractor exhibit caused me to have an inappropriate tingly feeling, especially when I saw the one with the front loader and backhoe. Scooptastic!

In the "home" side, there were a number of booths that weren't quite plugged into the theme of the event. Some of the booths were arts & crafts, and some sold Doctor Trustme's Miracle Cure Devices and Nostrums. One device was a TiVo-sized doohickey with some pads on the top that was designed for the user to lie down and place his/her ankles on the pads. The device would them move the user's legs back and forth 117 times per minute. I'm not sure of the significance of the number, but there you go. It was supposed to help cure or treat a variety of ailments, like the vapors, dropsy, ague, hair loss, diabetes, dyspepsia, excess cash syndrome, and best of all, et cetera.

The guy who was hawking the devices looked pretty much like number 4 on this list of televangelists with bad toupees. He told me a diabetic needs to walk six to eight miles per day, or else the diabetic's legs would die. This machine was supposed to help with just a five-minute vibration each day. Also, the machine helps remove toxins through some undefined agency. I was a little distracted by the fact that the guy was missing good portions of his index and middle fingers on his left hand. I couldn't help but wonder if the machine had something to do with it.

After the vibration, Eggbert Terwilliger asked the guy how often a person needed to use the machine to get maximum benefit. The guy replied that you could use it as often as you wanted. Eggbert and I looked at each other to acknowledge that the guy hadn't actually answered the question. Then the guy asked if he could write us up a sales order. We left. If I kept the guy's business card, I'll post the web site, if any.

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