Thursday, May 15, 2008

Question for the Readers

OK, I know this will be the opposite of a statistically significant poll, but please comment. If you are in a marriage right now, has your marriage significantly degraded for a reason that can be traced back to today's decision in sunny California to allow same-sex marriages? If so, how? If not, can you conceive of a reason why it would?

I'm really trying to figure out any way to reach across the divide and speak to those who insist that same-sex marriage will destroy the institution of marriage. In the absence of any evidence to support their claims, the best I can think is that they are terrified of change, and the more likely thought is that they are hateful bigots who need someone to hate in order to feel good about themselves.

And to those who are experiencing flux in your relationships, for whatever reason, you have my deepest sympathy.


hwqe said...

This could lead to the following:

1) Destruction of marriage
2) End of Times
3) The end of the US. The downfall begun since we let slaves free, now the gays! How wrong
4) god will not allow this to happen, this is a test.
5) People will no longer want to have children

These were some of the comments that I heard today about the issue. I asked one person the reason behind why these things will happen. My response I got was that it was gods plan. Huh, that makes total sense!

Angry Professor said...

My marriage certainly has not suffered. I can't imagine why it would, unless same-sex couples insist on living with us for extended periods of time -- much like mothers-in-law who overstay their welcomes, I think it would lead to increased tension and reduced frequency of intercourse.

It has always puzzled me why anyone would care who or how or what or why the neighbors were schtupping, unless it was an unrequited love kind of thing. If the neighbors want to borrow the sex toys, I just hope they return them after running them through the dishwasher. (Please.)

Jenn said...

I'm a longtime stalker here, but this is a topic I can't pass up. My marriage has in no way suffered from today's decision. My marriage is a personal commitment I made to my husband and really has nothing to do with what the sanctioning agency calls it. That piece of paper simply means that we can protect each other and our son in the event that one of us is incapacitated.

I don't understand why anyone would think that a same-sex marriage would degrade their own. The folks I know who oppose it do so on the basis of being unwilling to codify behavior they believe is wrong. In conversations, they also tend to admit the inherent hypocrisy.

Shay said...

You can always quote this:

When I was younger, I never had much of an opinion about gay marriage, except a vague feeling that there was somehow something not quite right about it. I changed my mind 25 years ago when I met the person who completes me and decided that I have no right to deny someone else the chance to be that lucky.

Bill said...

Perhaps some folks feel threatened by the likelihood of a plummeting divorce rate once same-sex marriages become legal.

GDad said...

Jenn, welcome! Glad you're a regular.

hwqe, your workplace will be pretty sparsely populated when the rapture comes.

AP, GPop and I will be sure never to overstay our welcome. However, we could run interference for people in mother-in-law situations.

Shay, yeah, that younger self thing... I distinctly remember being shocked, shocked, I tell you, when I first saw two men making out. It wasn't that self-loathing revulsion or anything, but rather a jolt of realization.

Bill, if you go over to Pandagon, they have "Actual Freeper Quotes" from commenters on the Free Republic. One of them asserts, without citing a source, of course, that 95% of civil unions dissolve within 3 years. The insane amount of self-deception these people undergo in order to maintain their beliefs is staggering.

CrankyProf said...

How sad is this? I had no ideas that CA was doing a damn thing -- being too concerned with making sure my own house was in order.

Jeez. If more people minded their own flippin' business, imagine how much nicer the world would be.

GirlyWarrior said...

Absolutely not. Being born and raised in California I am pleased the state has decided to recognize gay marriage. I have quite a few friends who are excited and looking forward to marrying their soul mates.

While I'm married in a heterosexual relationship I have always fully supported homosexuality. I believe it's horrid for people to think it's their business and get all churchy. Why hold someone to a Christian belief system politically when not everyone is Christian?

I say yay, this is a good step for people's civil rights, and I only hope the country follows suit and realizes that marriage is between two people in love, not a man and a woman in love.

I could go on and on, this is one of my huge pissy points. gets my blood boiling.

Faith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Faith said...

WHen I see Calif. I go numb. They have done some wierd things out there. I'm happy to see a state that now allows same sex marriage!!! It has not effeced my marriage.

GDad said...

Faith, I stopped by a day or so ago, and I did see your post. Hang in there.

gay CME guy said...

Good post, GDad. If I still had a partner, IT would be mighty tempting to hop a plane, and head for the Court House in San Fran.

Mandy said...

Quite frankly, I admire you and Gpop as one of the most loving couples I've ever met. You are both so kind and considerate to one another that it is truly heartwarming. I look to the way you treat one another as something to model in my own relationship. I just cannot comprehend how others think that such a warm and caring environment could possibly be "sinful", "bad", or "evil" simply based on your gender. You are a model for marriage and many heterosexual couples could learn a few things from your family. Excuse me while I go blow off some steam now . . .

Faith said...

HI gdad,
I hope you stop back to get this. My son had a long deep spiritual discussion last night that started because he heard about gay marriages on our local Christian radio station. (I've gone back to that station b/c then I don't have to hear all those sappy love songs that hurt so much.) I posted it on my blog before I came over to yours. My mind hurt keeping up with him at 10pm last night for this discussion.

Baldo said...

Allowing same-sex couples to marry will destroy the institution of marrage in much the same way that allowing african-americans to join white-only schools and restaurants, and sections of the bus have destroyed those things. Or allowing women to join men-only clubs has destroyed them.

Allowing an excluded group to join an exclusive institution destroys the institution in the way that it is currently defined. It is suddenly no longer exclusive, and thus no longer the same.

This has been almost universally a Good Thing. :)

Allowing same-sex couples to marry would change my marriage, in that the group of people I count myself among, "married couples", would suddenly become larger, and happier, and more inclusive.

Anonymous said...

Why should someone else gaining the ability to marry have any impact on my (closed) marriage? I don't see homosexual marriage as damaging heterosexual marriage.