Wednesday, July 9, 2008

My Boy

The day before yesterday marked the second anniversary of the day GPop and I met Son. We acknowledged the day, but since the more important day is the day he officially joined our family, it passed without too much fuss.

However, I was in a reminiscing sort of mood, so I pulled out the archived copy of the story from the Capital City newspaper from February, 2001, where That Man visited Son's school. Son was in kindergarten. I realized how much of a jerk That Man was even then. Here are some quotes from the article. As usual, I've changed the names, but everything else is pulled directly from the story.

And later, during a round-table discussion at Pseudonum Elementary, Bush introduced [Firstname] Congressman by asking him, "Are you with me, Firstname?'' After Congressman made noncommital remarks, Bush smiled and said, "That means yes."

Moments later, Bush turned to Gov. Jerky McJerkface for support, grinning and asking, "What do you think, guv?"


Pseudonym was selected for the Bush visit because of its successful mentoring program and rising proficiency-test scores. As Big Corp founder Bigshot McRich and his wife, Mrs. McRich, watched approvingly, Bush, his wife, Laura, and McJerkface talked with 13 volunteer tutors from Big Corp who were providing one-on-one reading lessons for 13 kindergarten students.

"Everybody's going to college in here?'' Bush asked, playfully rubbing the head of 5-year-old Son Oldlastname. "It starts with being a good reader."
The flip interactions with the other officials just grates on me. I'm pretty informal, but there are some situations that call for a bit of gravity.

Additionally, the remark about all of the kids going to college, while I think was well-intentioned, really misses the mark. The ZIP code where that school is located currently has an unemployment rate of 8.1% and 31.1% below the poverty line. Contrast with our home ZIP code now with 1.7% unemployment and 5.7% below the poverty line.

Anyway, I was pointing out some of these things to Son last night, and I told him that I was glad he hadn't been harmed by his contact with That Man.

Son scrunched up his face and said, "Duuuuuhhhhhh. Now I'm brain damaged... derrrrrrrrr. I caught The Stupid. Duuuuuuhhhhh."


PC Strobe said...

There is no doubt in my mind that Son was meant to be in your family. He fits right in!

Angry Professor said...

What a great kid. Smart, too.

Ashitaka said...

Well thank god the contact wasn't prolonged, he could've really had "Bush Damage". The Bush family; ruining the world, one country at a time.

Bill said...

It must have been non-permeable contact. Son seems to still have his wit(s), and the other fellow certainly doesn't seem any smarter.