Sunday, September 21, 2008


As happens every fall, the Halloween merchandise starts appearing in stores. The stores that are a bit fancier tend to forgo the Halloween stuff and go directly to the Christmas merchandise, which is a bit upsetting in September, but what are you going to do? The Martha Stewart wannabe middle-aged women with brittle hair have to shop early so they can get everything out of the way before Thanksgiving, when their eldest sons come home from their junior year in college to drop the bombshell that they've changed majors from business to English literature and that they've decided to move in with their 56-year-old sugar daddies now that they've figured out that they're both gay and motivated by at least three of the seven deadly sins (the traditional ones, not the new ones that include text-messaging and sagging). But I digress...

GPop, Son, and I were running errands last weekend, and we noticed a new Halloween store in an until recently closed storefront. Since we weren't in any particular hurry, we thought we'd pop in for a bit to see what was new and hip in the Halloween industry.

We saw ghouls, goblins, and ghosts galore. We saw costumes ranging from firemen and doctors to yet another year of prepubescent girls' costumes designed to sluttify the third-graders of America. Fishnet stockings, heels, and missing incisors are a bad combination no matter how thin you slice it.

In the a la carte section, we found the clown paraphernalia. They had red noses, large ties, suspenders, and my favorite - big clown shoes. As I looked more closely at the shoes, something started to wiggle and jiggle for attention in the back of my mind. I bent down to get a better look, and it occurred to me what it was.

I pulled a pair of the shoes off the rack and held one of them sole to sole with my own shoe. Drat! The clown shoes were the same length as my own shoes. Yes, that's right. I have giant clown feet. Except that since the clown shoes were designed to be novelty shoes for people with "normal" feet, they were likely to be padded on the inside and too small for me. I'm not sure what to think about this.

Below is a rough sketch of my shoe and the clown shoe. As always, click to embiggen.


pixnlil said...

Bwahaha! Now we just need to get you a squeaky red nose and let your hair grow out and we'll be all set.

Green Dads said...

I couldn't believe the Halloween stuff when I saw it appear in the supermarket a couple of weeks ago. Haven't even completed back to school shopping yet!

GDad said...

Green Dads,

Welcome! I stopped over at your place and left a note. Please come back again.

Shay said...

AND you have red hair. Hmmm.

GDad said...

Neighbor Rusty has a big fiberglass Ronald McDonald that he recovered (with permission) from a soon-to-be-defunct McDonalds. I don't resemble it at all. Er... much.