Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Gears A-Turnin'

Small Town has a big festival on Labor Day weekend each year, which involves shutting down the downtown area by the traffic light and importing carnies from far and wide to run the seven or so rides, along with providing a venue for local artists and craftsmen to hawk their wares. Plus, there is a plethora of fried things. Then, on the actual day of Labor Day, there is a parade with cars and bunting, horses, wagons, a band, and best of all, et cetera.

Last week, Son advised me that he wanted to go into the village for the festival. Since we are a mile from the festival, as the crow flies, or about five miles as the car drives (stupid closed intersection over the highway), it wasn't a big deal, so we went. I took one of Son's friends along with us. Funny thing I discovered about myself - I don't particularly like other people's kids, unless they're related to me somehow.

Son and friend wanted to wander, so I was left to my own devices. I noticed on our recent trip to San Francisco that Californians are all slender and good looking. Or it seemed that way to me. The same is not true in Small Town, Midwest State. Or it seemed that way to me.

I spent some time talking to the people at the Small Town Historical Preservation Society. They had quite a number of items for sale, given that the town is actually pretty small. I bought a book called Small Town: The Second Ninety Years. It tickled me that someone had written a book about the first ninety years of Small Town, but not a centennial book. Then some people wrote a follow-up about the second ninety years. I wonder if there will be a collective furtive glance at the time of the bicentennial, because nobody will want to irritate Pauline and Frances, the authors of the second book.

The rides all had a weight and height limit that was much smaller than me, so I meandered about in the arts and crafts area. One of the booths was a face-painting booth that was raising money for the high school's softball team. They had some samples of designs they would paint for two dollars. I didn't want the heart or the kitten, so I approached the booth and pondered for a moment.

Booth Lady: Can I help you?

GDad: Well, I want my face painted, but...

Booth Lady: But what?

GDad: Well, I'll ask. Please feel free to shoo me away if you think this is inappropriate, but can you paint a bullet hole in the middle of my forehead?

The woman stood and stared at me for what seemed like about thirty seconds. I thought she might shoo me away. Finally, something clicked in her head, and she said, "I think I can do that."

I went in, and the booth workers had a big pow-wow about how best to paint the hole. A teenage boy used his web-enabled phone to look up what bullet holes look like. The patriarchal figure thought the whole thing was hilarious. The moms were kind of amused, and the softball girls were sort of confused.

Anyway, after a couple of minutes, I was able to show off this beautiful painting. The hat I am wearing is the same one that makes this shadow.


Dave said...

I don't like other people's kids either, I was afraid I was the only one.

I'm impressed with the woman's improv, very nice job. I bet you initiated the next big fad in tats.

Anonymous said...

I don't particularly like other people's kids, unless they're related to me somehow.

Count me in as thirding this. And frankly, I can honestly say I don't like some of the kids who are related to me via extended family. My nieces are a pain in the ass.

Little Rainbow Comics said...

You seem to have a twisted sense of humor...even for a dad...

GDad said...


Welcome! I'm glad you stopped by.

Little Rainbow Comics said...

It was a nice surprise to find your blog - hope to draw inspiration from it!

Junk Drawer Kathy said...

Liking your blog. Found you on Redhead Rantings' blog roll.

I do love that 1) you would ask for a bullet hole, and 2) that someone would actually do it. But they need help with realistic blood. But, damn, didn't they do an awesome hole?!

How long before you washed it off?

GDad said...


Welcome! Glad you're enjoying yourself.

I left the hole on until after I got home. I think it started to flake off a bit after an hour or so, and I needed to take a shower.

I think the artist had issues with realistic blood, but you're right - the hole is AWESOME.