Cookie

"Goodness is its own reward."

Yeah, whatever. Nuts to you, fortune cookie writers.

Varmint

One of the traps captured a raccoon overnight. It reached out and grabbed a network cable from a nearby box and shredded the cable. Nasty little things.

We Need Yosemite Sam

There are raccoons living in our barn. I've set a live trap with various bait options, and the little bastiges get the bait out without triggering the trap. Time for the bigger guns. Neighbor Rusty has offered to provide what he calls the "kill and release" program. Let's refer to that as Plan B.

Leave Me Alone

The leaves on the trees appeared suddenly while I was trapped indoors over the weekend looking for tax paperwork from 2007. I got an audit request, and I just know I put the paperwork in a place where I wouldn't forget where it was.

More Dream Oddities

In last night's installment, I was a cop walking through the world's largest Wal*Mart. Somehow, I ended up in a nineteenth-century mad scientist's lab where the mad doctor was in the middle of an operation to remove the hands of an unwilling patient. Then the dream fast-forwarded to several weeks later when the patient was learning to hold playing cards in his wooden prosthetic.

I give my dream a Nighttime Dreamy nomination for costume design, set design, and casting, but not so much for screenplay.

Faux Celebrity Sighting

I saw someone who looked startlingly like this guy working at a gas station/convenience store this morning.

Foto Phriday

Here is Mandy with Dorothy and Glinda at the 2008 home and garden show in Capital City.

Weather Weirdness

Yesterday, a front or something came through. The sky was sunny and blue above my house, but it was dark and scary about a mile away. People I know who have moved here from sunny California tell me that this is new and scary to them.

The Counting

I heard a door slam in my driveway yesterday, so I went outside to see what was up. A woman claiming to be from the census was verifying street addresses in preparation for The Counting.

Two Knights, Two Knights...

We started watching Knights of Bloodsteel on SciFi. It's about the most disjointed fantasy story I think I've ever seen, and I've watched several seasons of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

So far, four motley adventurers have been knighted by Christopher Lloyd. I think there's something about an ancient evil, but it's kind of hard to tell.

In Vino... Something

On Saturday, we had dinner at a local pizza joint/sports bar. At the next table, there was a group watching the teevee and drinking copious quantities of beer. It was kind of entertaining to watch them become increasingly inebriated and decreasingly articulate.

Famous Geocachers from History

Boo Radley.

Dooshay

We're watching a show called CHA$E, where narcissistic doofuses play a giant game of tag on teevee. We're rooting for the "Hunters."

Foto Phriday

Here are two more pictures of a foggy day at the homestead. These were taken yesterday. I ended up taking Son to school, because he had some projects to take. He was excited about how foggy it was. I told him that it's not so much excitement to be had when driving in it.

Information Back Alley

In the Funny Farm game I mentioned a week or so ago, one of the words was "straitjacket." You sometimes see straitjackets on teevee or the movies, and I started to wonder where one would find one for sale. They have to come from somewhere.

After searching for a few minutes on the GOOG, I ended up at a web site which has a name that makes me laugh - Discount Handcuff Warehouse.

I Am Waiting for a Call from Washington

All of these issues with the Somali pirates are another issue President Obama and his administration have to face while dealing with everything else that's going on. I have the solution, though.

One word....



NINJAS!

Angry Language Guy - Back from Extended Hiatus

If I could select one word to remove from the English language, I think I would pick "dude".

On a related note, Son had two classmates over last night to work on a school project.

Four Word Movie Review - Slumdog Millionaire

Bad childhood; happy ending.

Happy Easter

Here comes Peter Cottontail!

Thoughts on Twitter

Twit.
Twitter.
Twittest.

Foto Phriday - Lipitor Edition

This is at the bagel bar in our main skyscraper office.

Take me down to Cholesterol City,
Where the arterial flow is surprisingly bitty...

Apologies to Guns N' Roses.

Yet Another Dream

I caught this post over at Stress Management and Other Things, which brought back the dream I had last night.

In the dream, I was working with two kids who were playing catch. They were both about 8 years old. The one closest to me could not catch the ball at all, and his glove was on backwards. I approached him and realized that he was in great need of help due to some profound developmental delays. I helped him put his glove on, and when he finally got all of his fingers in the right spots in the glove, the sense of accomplishment that radiated from him just made me all verklempt.

Not to fear, dream fans, it got weird after that. A large pod burst open, and someone resembling Eddie Murphy's Nutty Professor came out of the pod, commenting on everything that was going on in a Professor Frink kind of way. And there was something going on outside the window with a bunch of rabbits.

My Prediction

Now that Vermont has legislated same-sex marriage, some of the same people that shouted "JUDICIAL ACTIVISM" when Iowa's Supreme Court overturned their ban on same-sex marriage will start crying for the Vermont supreme court to overturn this new law.

I wonder which drug company created a vaccine for irony, or is it natural immunity?

Weather Weirdness

It was nearly 80 about two weeks ago. It snowed yesterday.

Yet Another Dream

I dreamed I was on a business trip with some colleagues. We were in a large city that had wide-open boulevards. For some reason, our car kept riding past bicycles with multiple people on them. Each time we'd pass by a bicycle, someone would fall off of it, and the others wouldn't seem to care.

Then we drove past the world's largest drag bar, and more people kept falling off bicycles. Weird.

Back Again

Chocolate n' marshmallow top
Graham crackers with glop!
That's s'more, eh?

Good News!

I took Son to the doctor last week, because he had symptoms that sounded vaguely like strep throat and other symptoms that looked vaguely like impetigo, both of which he has had before, and both of which have recently been seen at his school.

When we walked into the office, I read the names on the door, and Doctor Bane is no longer practicing at my favorite medical facility. Hooray!

Just to clear up the loose ends, the doctor indicated that Son's illness was just a viral infection of whatever is "going around," and that rest and fluids would do the trick.

New Time Sink

WARNING:

Only click this link if you have several hours to spend.

Foto Phriday - Finance and Art Edition

Son's eighth grade art class had a painting project. He painted this on canvas. His muse was Eggbert Terwilliger, who proposed a similar Halloween costume last year. At Son's birthday party, we could only think of two of the nine muses - Terpsichore and Calliope - when the subject came up.



I have this hanging in my office. For those of you in academia, non-profit organizations, or public sector positions, please replace "401k" with "403b" or "457" as appropriate.

Radio Automisquote, a.k.a. WKRP Morning Zoo with Mrs. Malaprop

On the radio this morning, I heard a report on worries that a state prison in Midwest State is seeing signs that there might be a riot in the near future. A prison spokesperson said that she saw signs of food hoarding, which could mean that prisoners were preparing for a standoff, but that there were no other signs of a pending resurrection.

I am inclined to agree.

Precognition

Several weeks ago, we went to see Michael Shermer speak at Large State University in Capital City. He spoke some about his usual topic, and the title of his book, Why People Believe Weird Things. The lecture was held in a room where I believe I may have had a physics or chemistry class way back when I was a college lad. Hard to say, though, human memory being what it is. One of my "really nice people that I'm proud to call friend, even though we see each other in meatspace about once every nine months on average" friends was in charge of babysitting Dr. Shermer whilst he was on campus, and although I saw Professor Friend from across the room at the lecture, the crowd dynamics didn't let me get to chat with her.

On Tuesday night, I had a dream that I was supposed to go to another lecture in this series, so I got on my bicycle and headed there. I had a street address in my dream for a street that doesn't exist on the campus of Large State University in real life, so I had to rely on a crudely-drawn map to get there.

The map took me over the river and through the wood all over the campus. At one point, I rode my bike through a flock of pigeons and almost collided with an old friend who was taking very close up pictures of the tags on peoples' shirts. Soon after that, I rode my bike through the large main university library, à la Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

After riding through the library, I was delayed by some road construction. Two machines, each about the size of a cathedral, were moving concrete road blockades to "help" with the flow of traffic. I managed to get past them, and finally arrived at the lecture hall, where I saw Professor Friend.

Then I woke up.

Later that day, I checked my e-mail, and by strangest of coincidences, I found out that there was another lecture in that series scheduled for that night. Then my phone rang, and Son's school nurse advised me that Son was feeling ill at school. So, although I would have liked to attend the lecture, I would have had a difficult time getting there, [cue spooky music] JUST LIKE IN MY DREAM! I sent Professor Friend an e-mail to ask if she planned to be there, and she replied that she was vacillating, but leaning toward not attending.

The kicker is that the seemingly precognitive nature of the dream flies in the face of the subject matter.

Open Letter to the Drivers on the Outerbelt

Dear Looky-Lous from a Few Weeks Ago,

While I appreciate that none of you actually crashed, I would like to point out a couple of important things.

1. The box truck that had been on fire was out by the time you got near it.
2. It was pulled over well off to the side.
3. It was on the other side of the divided highway going the other way, until it caught on fire.
4. You do not know the driver.
5. Even if you do, you can't get across the road to help.
6. That's not even accounting for the fact that if you could, you would NOT be better at helping than the first responders.
7. And it's not your stuff that caught on fire.
8. So it's really not your concern.

So, dear drivers, please maintain a reasonable speed. Slowing to a stop ON THE FREEWAY DURING RUSH HOUR is not an appropriate response to this sort of circumstance. There are no sabertooth tigers or advancing Mongol hordes. You may proceed.

Sincerely,
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