Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Cold vs. Hot

I don't know if I'm ill on top of injured, but I had a slight fever Monday night and Tuesday morning, and I feel very warm right now. This stinks.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Old Ballgame

Newest in the video series...


video

Monday, September 28, 2009

Back to Town

I've had some pretty crazy back spasms and pain the past few days. GPop finally dragged me out of the house yesterday to the local Urgent Care. Now I'm on a muscle relaxant, and I rented an apartment in Vicodin Town.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Overheard in the Cafeteria

"It's always Friday night somewhere."

Perhaps the person was confused with it always being happy hour somewhere.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Neologism of the Day

Weirditating - (adj.) a little weird; a little irritating.

"One of my dearest friends has this weirditating habit of stopping mid-stride every time he has to pass through a door."

Unfortunately, although I created this word on my own, The Goog tells me that someone else created it independently and previously.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Foto Phriday - Office Edition

Here we have a diagram I found on a white board. I hope it's not, yet fear it is, our planned goal state. In case you can't read the picture, I'll describe and transcribe it after the picture.



The picture is a triangle that looks sort of like the old food pyramid. There are words inside each level and some other words in red outside. Outside words will be in parentheses below.

Level 1 (bottom): Absence of Trust (Invulnerability)
Level 2: Fear of Conflict (Artificial Harmony)
Level 3: Lack of Commitment (Ambiguity)
Level 4: Avoidance of Accountability (Low Standards)
Level 5 (top): Inattention to RESULTS (Status/Ego)

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Solution for Health Care

Instead of all this reform nonsense, why not just let USFidelis handle it? They advertise "no hassle" comprehensive coverage for your car. How much more difficult would it be to apply this philosophy to medical care?

Link 1.
Link 2.
Link 3.
Link 4.
Link 5.

etc.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Happy Birthday, Brother 2

Brother 2 is 30 today. Ha ha!

Pretty Awesome

If you have a minute, stop over at Unexpected Journey and say, "Hi," to pixnlil. Especially important is her September 22 post.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Happy Equinox

It's starting to look autumnal out there.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Improvement by Defect

We're fans of the Stargate television programs. We never watched them on broadcast teevee, but through the magic of borrowing the DVDs from friends, we watched all ten seasons of Stargate SG-1 and all five seasons of Stargate Atlantis.

Recently, we were in our local Blockbuster, and I saw a DVD in the used markdown bin. It was the first four episodes of the animated Stargate Infinity. I picked it up for something like $1.99.

This Stargate series is best left unwatched. The animation is of the sort we used to see in the late 1980s and early 1990s on Saturday morning or after-school cartoons. The characters are only differentiated by what color uniform they are wearing, which sort of belies the name. The Air Force must have also changed its policy for personal grooming by the time this show is set, which is some 20 to 30 year future date. The theme song is one of those wailing men who sounds like he's in pain, and who is going on about "FINDING OUR WA-AAAY BACK TO EAAARRRTHHH! STARGATE INFINITEEEEEEEE!"

Anyway, we watched it for a bit. At some point in episode three, the sound started cutting out. We'd hear somthing lik thi entenc com g out o he spe kers. Then the video would pause and jump ahead. This led to some amusing experiences where characters would suddenly be in a new setting saying things that made even less sense than they did when everything was running smoothly.

My favorite line was when one of the characters (It doesn't matter who.) said, "Yo butt!" We all laughed a lot.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Lost

Yesterday, Son, Baldo McNerdy, Marcot Ravenswatch, and I went on a drive. We drove about five miles away, then we started rolling a die at each intersection to get us randomly lost. After a while, we turned the GPS on and found our way home.

On the way, we found the reason why Obvious Name Road was named such. Of course, it lead to the town of Obvious Name, but then we discovered why Obvious Name was called that.

Then we saw some neat houses barns.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

ITLAPD

Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Sorry, Dave's Beer.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Foto Phriday - Zombie Apocalypse Edition

This is a picture of some peanuts I found in a restaurant. They look kind of zombified.

Breakfast Words

Mandy and I were in the cafeteria grabbing our breakfast items, because breakfast is the most important meal of the day!

Mandy: I think I'll have a biscuit today.

GDad: Biscuit. That's a funny word. Biss-kitt. Bissss-kitt. Biss-cyoo-itt. Biss-cyoo-itt.

Mandy: Most normal people don't pronounce it that way.

GDad: But we SPELL it that way.

Mandy: But again, most normal people don't pronounce it "biss-cyoo-itt."

GDad: Ah, sorry. BIZ-cyoo-itt.

Mandy: D__n you. Now I'll be saying that all day.

GDad: Glad to be of service.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Neologism

I think I've figured out the term of our President, based on the input of some of the people I've seen on teevee and heard on the radio.

Afrislamicommunazi. Or, using CamelCase, AfrIslamiCommuNazi.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Observation From My Cousin's Wedding

At the risk of painting with an overly broad brush, it seems that all wedding DJs are jerkasses.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Phone Surveys

I hate talking on the phone. However, I recognize that other people do not necessarily share my neurosis, so I make accommodations for friends and family and generally answer the phone, since I am on the Do Not Call list. I also refuse to pay for caller ID, so answering the phone is one of life's little adventures.

Although I will give a very hard time to telemarketers, I have a soft spot for phone survey people. Last night, I received a call from a mostly-literate barely-post-high-school woman with a heavy southern drawl who asked me if I'd be willing to answer some questions about my opinions on a contentious issue here in Midwest State where certain groups are attempting to put a ballot issue on the November ballot that will amend the state constitution to allow certain business activities to take place. I generally support the business activities in question, but I vehemently oppose amending the state constitution to do something this quotidian.

I suppose, however, that the distinctions are lost on some people. After my rant about how absurd the recent constitutional issues have become, she asked, "Do you have anything else to say on this matter, or can we move to the next question?"

"The ballot issue, or the constitutional issues?"

"Either."

"Um... no. Let's just move on."

Then in the demographic questions, she was convinced that a bachelor's degree was something one routinely obtained in three years. I indicated that it was usually a four-year degree, and she advised me that perhaps the colleges had slowed things down in recent years. Sure. Let's go with that.

At one point, she asked me if I'd heard X about the issue. "Have you heard that the passage of this issue would create 27,000 jobs in Midwest State?" I indicated that I had. "Is that true, false, or don't know?

Huh? Crystal ball... not working...

"Did you hear that every county in Midwest State will get an allocation of the taxes raised from these businesses?" I had. "Is that true, false, or don't know?"

Once again... principles or pragmatism?

Monday, September 14, 2009

To the Counter Guy at the Greek Restaurant

I'm dressed nicely today, and I don't smell of anything. When I signed the receipt and handed it back to you with the pen, you could have waited until I turned around before you squirted the big glob of hand sanitizer all over your hands.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Four Word Movie Review - 9

Burton and Elfman! Imagine!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Golding

We watched Lord of the Flies (1963 version) last night on the free On Demand function of our cable box. I'd never seen the movie before. Son fell asleep somewhere around the hour mark.

One thing I didn't quite get out of the story is how long they were on the island. Based on my recent observations of kids in malls, I'd guess around three to four hours.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Foto Phriday - Phycic Edition

On another blog, I commented that the blogger take an opportunity to test a tarot card reader or medium to get some ideas about cold reading. In the comment, I mentioned something about Madame La Mystique's Palm Reading and Pancakes. Here's a picture of a place I saw in San Francisco.



The post's title comes from a Corner Gas episode where Hank thought he could read minds. The local paper had a front page headline that proclaimed, with this misspelling, "HANK IS PHYCIC!"

September 11

Eight years ago today, we had one of those "Reply-To-All" cascades at Megacorporation One. You know the kind - some numbskull presses Reply To All to an e-mail that went out to the whole company, and then it starts. Angry people from interns to vice presidents start replying to the message, saying things like, "STOP REPLYING TO ALL!" or "Please remove me from this distribution list."

Then, around 9:00 EDT, one of the replies to all said something about how this distribution list might be upsetting, but at least we weren't being hit by an airplane like those poor folks in NYC. Nobody around me had heard anything, so we checked CNN or whatever to see what was going on. We were stunned.

The guy next to me had an old 8-inch B&W TV in a drawer. He got it out, and several of us huddled around it, watching the live coverage of the tower's burning.

GPop was panicked. I worked in downtown Capital City in a high-rise building on the 23rd floor. He kept trying to reach me at my desk, and the phone systems was overloaded. He thought something had happed to our building. Finally he reached me.

I can only imagine what the situation was like in New York at the time.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

What's In a Name?

I received this invitation yesterday to a web presentation. I love the presenter's name. I'd like his middle name to be "Of."

The guy's name is Mark Studness.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Captain Ruffles and the Case of the Missing Watchband

Terry: [After seeing a young man walk by] I didn't know popped collars were back in style.

Captain Ruffles: They're not.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Gears A-Turnin'

Small Town has a big festival on Labor Day weekend each year, which involves shutting down the downtown area by the traffic light and importing carnies from far and wide to run the seven or so rides, along with providing a venue for local artists and craftsmen to hawk their wares. Plus, there is a plethora of fried things. Then, on the actual day of Labor Day, there is a parade with cars and bunting, horses, wagons, a band, and best of all, et cetera.

Last week, Son advised me that he wanted to go into the village for the festival. Since we are a mile from the festival, as the crow flies, or about five miles as the car drives (stupid closed intersection over the highway), it wasn't a big deal, so we went. I took one of Son's friends along with us. Funny thing I discovered about myself - I don't particularly like other people's kids, unless they're related to me somehow.

Son and friend wanted to wander, so I was left to my own devices. I noticed on our recent trip to San Francisco that Californians are all slender and good looking. Or it seemed that way to me. The same is not true in Small Town, Midwest State. Or it seemed that way to me.

I spent some time talking to the people at the Small Town Historical Preservation Society. They had quite a number of items for sale, given that the town is actually pretty small. I bought a book called Small Town: The Second Ninety Years. It tickled me that someone had written a book about the first ninety years of Small Town, but not a centennial book. Then some people wrote a follow-up about the second ninety years. I wonder if there will be a collective furtive glance at the time of the bicentennial, because nobody will want to irritate Pauline and Frances, the authors of the second book.

The rides all had a weight and height limit that was much smaller than me, so I meandered about in the arts and crafts area. One of the booths was a face-painting booth that was raising money for the high school's softball team. They had some samples of designs they would paint for two dollars. I didn't want the heart or the kitten, so I approached the booth and pondered for a moment.

Booth Lady: Can I help you?

GDad: Well, I want my face painted, but...

Booth Lady: But what?

GDad: Well, I'll ask. Please feel free to shoo me away if you think this is inappropriate, but can you paint a bullet hole in the middle of my forehead?

The woman stood and stared at me for what seemed like about thirty seconds. I thought she might shoo me away. Finally, something clicked in her head, and she said, "I think I can do that."

I went in, and the booth workers had a big pow-wow about how best to paint the hole. A teenage boy used his web-enabled phone to look up what bullet holes look like. The patriarchal figure thought the whole thing was hilarious. The moms were kind of amused, and the softball girls were sort of confused.

Anyway, after a couple of minutes, I was able to show off this beautiful painting. The hat I am wearing is the same one that makes this shadow.


Monday, September 7, 2009

Labor Day

Happy Labor Day!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Old Time Entertainment

Here's a brief video of a John Deere engine attached to some ice cream makers. We saw the contraption at the Small Town Labor Day Festival.

video

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Son's Damage

Son fell down skateboarding today. There's a small cut along his shin. He's convinced that it's already infected and that he will lose his leg to some kind of infection.

Oy vey.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Foto Phriday

A few months ago, we went to the Capital City Arts Festival in Capital City. Here's a photo of the place where we entered the festival grounds. I cut out some words to obfuscate location, but I've added no words. Note the very mixed message. At least I can attribute some of the weirdness to the idea that the car is from out of town.

Somebody Please Think of the CHILDREN!

I heard on the radio this morning that three school districts around Capital City are disallowing students to view President Obama's address to schoolchildren, because some parents are complaining that the President's stated goal of providing a fairly bland inspirational message of You Can Achieve Your Goals If You Try Really Hard And Stick To It will turn into a recruiting video for the Weather Underground Organization or the Judean People's Front or whatever.

"OK, this next part is for the students only. Teachers and parents, go ahead and leave the room. Go on; I'll wait. [pause] Are they gone? Go lock the doors and listen carefully, kids..."

I may be am painting with an inappropriately broad brush here, but it seems that the people who generally complain about this sort of thing intersect heavily with the set of people who push for things like Intelligent Design in the science classroom. In that instance, they'll say things like, "Teach both sides. Let the kids decide."

I wonder if there's some kind of treatment for the inability to see your reflection in a mirror?

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Pretty Girl

GPop got a call from Pat the other day. Pat's cat, Pretty Girl, is not doing very well. Pat finally realized that it was time to euthanize Pretty Girl. Here are some pics of the last few moments at the vet.

WARNING: Kleenex moments approaching.






Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Nonparallel, Nonintersecting

My observations today indicate an inverse correlation between a man's hairline and his waistline. I suspect that a more formal analysis will not support this correlation, but it amused me.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Quote of the Day...

...or another reason I love my son so much.

After completing his geometry homework with no complaining and very little hand-holding from yours truly: "Dad, is this the kind of work you expected from me in Algebra last year?"