Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Lending a Hand

On our Thanksgiving travels, we stopped for a potty break in a small town in Midwest State that evidently never experienced any year past 1990. The gas station where we stopped was hopping with activity. There were three other people there.

One gentleman asked GPop how to get to "Route 25." GPop was doing the pee-pee dance, so he directed the guy to me. I offered to get the GPS, but when I returned, I had a hard time getting the guy to understand that I needed a street address of some kind in order to generate a map on this specific GPS. I decided to take a different approach. I went out to the car and got an old-fashioned map that we'd picked up at a tourist information center.

I brought it back in and opened the map. The map was at a high enough level that I could see that Route 25 went through the next small town over. They guy asked me if I could help him find Route 19, instead.

I found that Route 19 passed through the small burg where we were, but the map wasn't detailed enough to show how to get from here to there. In years past, though, I had driven through this small town enough to know that the tall building with the dome was on the town square, which is where all of the main roads converged, so I pointed there and told the guy that if he headed to that building, I was confident that he'd find Route 19. Then I offered him the map.

He took the map with his left hand, and then made a gesture with his right. He was missing a right hand. Of all of the things to offer to someone with one hand, I offered him an open road map. I know people with two hands who can't fold the things. I muttered something about taking care of the folding and handed him the smaller bundle.

The woman who was with him lit up her cigarette and started to chug her coffee, got in the driver side of their car, and drove off in some direction that was not especially likely to get them to the domed building in the town square. Oh well.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Virus Redux

The stomach virus is back. Son, GPop, and I are all feeling a little off.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Closing the Weekend

Son is in bed reading. GPop is in bed sleeping. I am slowing coming to terms with going back to work.

Saturday, November 27, 2010


Son spent a day with Brother 1. This is a Big Deal, because if Brother 1 could have his druthers, he druther everyone just leave him the heck alone. I'm hoping that this will happen again, because Son had a great time. Brother 1 plays guitar, and he and Son have bonded through this activity.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Just Desserts

On Tuesday, I was running a bit late to my mentoring program. I sent a quick text message to the mentoring coordinator, Jack, to let him know that I was on my way. He replied to alert me that he'd let my mentee know.

Later that day, I was running about with Son to get some groceries. I took out my phone and sent a text to tell GPop that I was getting the ingredients to make my annual Thanksgiving contribution - pineapple upside-down cake. Since we were hitting several relatives' houses, I wanted to make sure that I was making enough.

GDad: Making pineapple upside-down cake. 2 or 4?

Mentoring Coordinator: Sounds yummy!

GDad: Sorry. Sent to wrong person. Happy Thanksgiving.

Thursday, November 25, 2010


Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Opt Out and Up

I propose that travellers opt out of the full-boy scans and that male travellers take a Viagra two hours before going through security.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The News Cycle is Collapsing - Apologies to R.E.M.

It's conventional wisdom these days that if a conservative public figure rails against something, he or she is probably doing that very thing. The liberal public figures have their share of scandals and such, but they don't seem to have the same soapbox moral outrage thing going on right before they get their hands caught in the cookie jar. I think more analysis is needed on this issue.

This guy just went on a very public rant about how social media leads to marital strife, and lo and behold, it's the real truth.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Four Word Movie Review - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1

Dreams. Action. Acting. Scenery.

Now I'm in Trouble

Person: Is this pimple noticeable?

GDad: Only if you look at it.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

I was reading a trade magazine while I was waiting for a script to process something, and I glanced at a sub-header in an article about IT innovations. I thought I saw, "12 Marriott International Inc. - The global holier-than-thou..." What I really saw was, "12 Marriott International Inc. - The global hotelier saves thousands..."

I like the first one better.

Friday, November 19, 2010

The Accident

Son texted GPop and me today.

Son: Got in carcrash be home soon I am fine

[moment of sheer panic]

GDad: Did a car hit the bus?

Son: No bu hit car we had sub today

GDad: Yikes. Ok, as long as you are OK. See you soon. Call me if you need me to pick you up.

Son: We have to stay on the bus state law.

GDad: I would like to see the section of state law in question, but OK.

Son: Lol

He just got home, and all is well in the Lastname household, but I hear that one student injured her neck and left in an ambulance.

Also, GPop called after the first text and demanded to know if everything was OK with me and the car. He didn't realize that it was the bus, and not our car, which crashed. I advised Son that perhaps a bit more detail would be appropriate for such announcements in the future.

Foto Phriday - X(Mas) Files

Son's feet and last year's Christmas tree.

Thursday, November 18, 2010


I know I'm not getting through these very quickly, so the reviews are sparse.  it seems A. Conan Doyle's earlier misses are redeemed in The Hound of the Baskervilles.

Google Ads

I noticed that Google now puts ads on its Blogger interface where I post these entries. I may have to do some research to see what kinds of ads get served up by some very bizarre topics. Keyword manipulation is FUN!

Banana porcupine hypersensitive aircraft lunchbag Kyoto.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Happy Homes

A good friend of mine, who went through a bad 2009 and 2010, just made an offer on a condo. Here's hoping that everything goes well.

On a semi-related note, my aunt and uncle have a little vacation cabin that they call their "condo-minimum."

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Elevators

I work on the 25th floor of one of our high-rises at Mega Corporation One. There are 26 floors in this particular building. Because I like to use my time wisely, I take the elevators. We could argue whether that's a wise use or not, but there it is.

One of my hobbies is creating backstory and conclusions for conversational snippets. Today, I heard this exchange:

Her: It must be hard.

Him: Yes, I see her when I go to that department.

Her: She is still my friend on Facebook.

Him: It's hard to completely disengage.

Most people would create a "breakup" backstory. I decided to create a backstory where she is an alien who used a faulty mind control device on Him.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Movie Phone

I just got a call (wrong number) from an internal extension that read "Annie Hall."

Sunday, November 14, 2010


I was helping Son with some algebra homework the other day. He was looking at a problem that asked him to figure the average speed of an object moving in a straight line according to the formula t-to-the-third minus t-squared plus six t, from time t=2 to t=x.

In order to establish a baseline of understanding, I reminded him that speed is change in distance over time, such as miles per hour, or feet per second, or inches per year. We talked about things that occur at those kinds of magnitudes, like car travel, walking, or something at inches per year.

GDad: What could occur at inches per year?

Son: Rainfall?

GDad: Well, that's not... Um... Huh. The units check out. Weird.

Son: [laughs]

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Foto Phriday - Melanin

Here's an albino squirrel from our back yard.

The Bionic Man

GPop's father had a knee replacement about six weeks ago. We haven't been over to see them since the surgery, but we're heading there today. Son will be driving, and this will be the longest trip Son will be responsible for driving so far.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Fly Me to the Moon

In my dream last night, Neil Armstrong showed up at our vacation cabin and tried the "pull my finger" routine on Son. Son didn't fall for it.

Thursday, November 11, 2010


I was asked to be Riff-Raff at the off site today. We did the Time Warp.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

All Day

We have an all-day off site meeting scheduled for today AND tomorrow. We doing strategery. What fun.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Travel Bug

I'd like to go farther afield next summer. We've been to California, Florida, and Ontario. Where next?

Monday, November 8, 2010

Report Card

Son's report card came with a shiny silver seal on it. He made the honor roll. And there was much rejoicing.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Saturday, November 6, 2010

In the House

GPop and Son are sick. I guess we just stay in today.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Happy Diwali

दीपावली की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएं

About half of the floor on which I work is Indian. We had a big Diwali celebration today. I think I'm a big fan. There's lots of food, and you celebrate the triumph of good over evil, of knowledge over ignorance, and of light over darkness. Go Good!

Foto Phriday - Happy Guy Fawkes Day!

Distemper dismember
Toe griffin staff member
My corn chowder easing a dot.
Rye glow have dough season
Writer fun louder knees on
Wood clever tea nor tot.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Not Very Useful

I can't figure out how someone would read this bumper sticker when the statement on it is true. Also, it seems to be aimed at a fairly niche market; it's not really a political statement or anything.

For those of you who can't get to the picture, the (fairly small) text is

I'd answer your QuickBooks question, but I'm driving.
--Intuit QuickBooks ProAdvisor

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Last Call

Today will be the last political calls for a while. Thank goodness.

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Best Costume

The best Halloween costume I've seen so far is a toddler in a stroller with a pointy orange felt hat, a little brown felt jacket, dark orange felt pants, and a white felt beard. He was a gnome.