Sunday, May 29, 2011

More from the Brother - His Complaint to Amazon

I preordered jazz guitar virtuoso Mike Moreno's new album several months ago and was eagerly looking forward to receiving it this weekend after seeing that it was shipped on Tuesday.

My wife, daughter and I excitedly walked to the mailbox as we saw the postal truck pull up. As our friendly postal carrier handed me the Amazon envelope, I began to wonder why it was so narrow and thick, unlike other CD envelopes I have received from Amazon. I am sure that you can imagine my surprise when I discovered, upon tearing open the envelope, that it contained a package of Mimijumi replacement nipples. I struggle to conceive of a stranger or more embarrassing unrequested product you could have sent to me. The Mimijumi pacakge, with it's cheerful, smiling droplet of breastmilk emblazoned on the side brings what I suspect is an inappropriate sadness to my heart. I have been looking forward to Mike Moreno's new CD for several months, and the notion that my enjoyment of his music has been delayed for at least several days by an unsought and unwanted set of artificial nipples sadly degrades my opinion of Amazon's otherwise excellent service.

Please let me know what I need to do to receive my requested CD as soon as possible. I also suggest that you may want to reship order #105-8967681-XXXXXXX to whomever requested it, as there is undoubtedly someone in this great country of ours who is in desperate need of what appear to be some very expensive simulated nipples.

Sincerely,

Brother 1 Lastname

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