Tuesday, March 13, 2012


I've been getting so many calls from "Rachel of Card Services" or the people who are giving me a cruise in exchange for answering a quick survey that I've become pretty suspicious of all phone calls.  Someone called today with exciting news about a [garbled] benefit my employer offers, so please call this number.  I was a bit irate and wanted to find these people to turn them into the FCC.

I called it and got "Jessica."  The greeting was something like, "Thank you for calling, this is Jessica.  How may I help you?"  Actually, it was more like, "Thankyouforcallingthisisjessicahowmayihelpyou?"  I affected a slight redneck accent and played a bit dumb.

I described the phone call and said my answering machine cut out for a second when I was listening to it, so I didn't know why my employer wanted to call them.  I was prepared for her to start asking for personal details about me for identity theft purposes.  For the purposes of this call, I was going to be the pseudonymous John Thompson, and I would have two jobs, so when she asked what my employer was, I would be able to return her question with a question - "Which one?"

Then she said, "I'll pull up your information - you have Big Insurance Company with your employer, and this is a health coaching program paid in full by your employer."

Ah.  "Well, Jessica, I have to admit, I thought this was a scam of some sort.  I am actually GDad Lastname, and I already have other information on the health coaching issue.  Thanks for the explanation.  Have a great day!"

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