Sunday, September 30, 2012

End of Quarter

Third quarter is over.  Time to report on things!

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Head in a Jar

From the Futurama phone app...


Friday, September 28, 2012

Why Is This so Hard?

Waiter:  ...and do you want the minestrone or the Italian wedding soup with that?

Me: Surprise me.

Waiter:  What?

Me: Surprise me.  I like them both, and there are only two options.  Just bring me whichever one you want.

Waiter:  Ummm....

Me:  Trust me.  It will be OK.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Just Overheard

Rick:  ...so Pat asked me, "Why are you doing that?" and I told him that there was a very good reason, but I just didn't know what it was.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Cost-Benefit Analysis

There is a department in our company to which the corporate choir sort of reports.  As president, I am obligated to color inside the lines, although I do have some leeway to offer suggestions about where the lines should be.  Let's call this department Mega Corporation One Choir Department (MCOCD).  The room in which we rehears is the Multi Purpose Room.  It is about 100 feet by 40 feet, and the back of the room is used for storage of years-old cr@p.  However, there is a locked smaller room off to the side in which we can store music and equipment, including the piano.

Scene 1 (in person)
Me:  Good morning!  Great news - we recruited enough people that our rehearsal room needs more chairs.  How do I make that happen?

MCOCD:  Well, you should be able to call the Corporate Services number and request some more.  Let me check with the boss.  I'll let you know by tomorrow.

Scene 2 (via Instant Online Chat)


MCOCD: hey GDad...how many more chairs were you talking about...we are discussing now

GDad Lastname: Maybe 10?
I think we have enough for ~38 to 30 seats.
oops.
28 to 30
We have 39 books assigned, including Director's and Accompanist's.

MCOCD: we can't have the extra chairs in the multi purpose room all the time so just go ahead and email Serivices...and let them know when you need them. and when they should come get them...i just wanted to double check with the Boss!!
good luck with the newbies!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Limbaugh - Nothing New Under the Sun

In honor of Rush Limbaugh's recent statements regarding a study, I would like to point to a post I made five years ago.

Monday, September 24, 2012

I Want to LIVE

David Sedaris wrote essays about his time as a housekeeper.  He worked in New York cleaning apartments and houses, and one of the really comical pieces was his description of mixing different household cleaners against the warning labels' proscriptions.  If I recall correctly, he said you actually can mix bleach and ammonia, but you just have to keep concentrating on the thought, "I WANT TO LIVE!"

I have a seventeen year old son.  He is very dear to me, but sometimes I think he is bleach, ammonia, and carbonation all mixed together.  I didn't realize that having a teenager meant that you get to relive teen years from both sides at the same time.  Parents have to be made of pretty stern stuff.  I just want to survive this with my sanity intact.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Corporate Creepy

Mega Corporation One has a new advertising campaign that is supposed to tie our current strategic direction to our corporate roots.  You know, because our actual history is discontinuous.  Stupid time machines.

Anyway, the internal advertising for the campaign is in the form of, well, everything.  Remember the movie with Tom Cruise where he had to switch eyeballs so the advertising gizmos couldn't identify him by his retinal scan?  That's the level of advertising we are seeing with this campaign.  On my desk is a little standee that tells me what to think about the campaign.  It has four parts.

Part 1 - Plain text on a white background.  This is for the textual learners who don't care much for frippery.  FRIPPERY - BOOOOOO!

Part 2 - Corporate logo on a cool, relaxing, color-coordinated background.  There are some nonsensical marketing statements on this side.

Part 3 - A warm, orange-and-brown-based picture of two friends jogging and smiling.  That right there shows the problem with marketing pieces.  I dare you to find one out of a hundred joggers you see on the street who are smiling.

Part 4 - A list, with brief descriptions, of what this marketing campaign is trying to portray us as being.  Authentic, Thoughtful, etc.  Then we get to Maternal.  Maternal?  My mind is boggling with Freudian implications.  Regressing, regressing....

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Understatement

Really, Ms. Knowles?


Click to embiggen.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Weather vs. Mood

The weather has been absolutely beautiful the past week or so.  I mentioned looking at the moon with my telescope and such, and it's been gorgeous.

My mood, however...

Son is 17.  He knows absolutely everything, and he is not shy about explaining exactly why GPop and I are full of cr@p.  Every parent of every teen ever has probably been through the same issues, but this is close to home.  I love my son dearly, and I can only slog through this until he emerges as the adult he will be.

My grandmother in Florida just told me that it's about time for her and Grandpa to move into a senior independent living facility, which can then transition to assisted living.  This is a bit of memento mori that I was hoping to avoid for a while.  I called her last night and had a nice talk.  She wants me to come down and dig through all of her stuff to claim anything that I find meaningful.  If I hadn't mentioned it before, Grandpa is step-grandfather.  My paternal grandfather died 30 years ago.  Grandma got remarried soon after to this man, who had recently lost his wife.  They've been happily married ever since.  In fact, they've lived in Florida for at least 25 years.  When they sold their respective houses and moved to Florida, they asked my parents and uncles and aunts to claim anything they wanted.  I need to process how to handle this.

The trip to New York cost more than I'd like.  I have always tried to be fiscally responsible, and carrying some of that debt bugs me to no end.

On the other hand, I am reasonably healthy, I get along with people, and again, the weather is nice.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Angry Language Guy - Thinking

If you think X, you've got another think coming.  You do not have another thing coming.

That is all.


Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Rain

We got some rain today.  Too bad.  We could have used it six weeks ago.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Firefly

We're rewatching Firefly and enjoying how well written the show was.  It's a shame that it was marked for death from the beginning by the network.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Four Word Movie Review - ParaNorman

Conquer fears; save town.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Running Around Town

I ran a lot of errands today.  I think it was good to get out of the house.  I've been feeling a bit under the weather lately.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Kid Sick Again

This time, it's a bad sinus infection.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Not So Much

This is a picture of my building's cafeteria cooler for "grab and go" items at 12:30 on a Monday.  Something seems amiss.


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Morning Glow

This morning, I took a few minutes to observe the moon through my telescope before I headed off to work.  I don't have a mechanism whereby I can photograph the image, but it was beautiful.

I tried to get Venus into the viewer, but I couldn't get the telescope to cooperate.  Perhaps some nice binoculars would do the trick.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

In Memoriam


Not Potter

I had a dream last night that I had met and made friends with Prince Harry.  He had adopted a Midwestern American accent for some reason.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Sunset

This was the sunset last night.  I wish my camera could catch the colors the way they really look.


Sunday, September 9, 2012

Son's Pictures

Son had an assignment to take pictures of things that are important to him.  Here is his costume hat and ocarina from his Link costume from the Legend of Zelda.


Saturday, September 8, 2012

Handy

Best wedding picture ever.


Friday, September 7, 2012

Puffed 4

Puffed meat --> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pork_rinds


Puffed rice.
Puffed wheat.
Puffed corn.
Puffed meat!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Puffed

When I was in college, Baldo McNerdy and I had a fun time making up weird things.  We had a little bit of doggerel based on food we saw in the grocery one day.


Monday, September 3, 2012

Labor Day Parade

The parade in Small City yielded less than 65 tiaras.  The little town down the way beat us by about 20 tiaras.  I am crushed.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Coworker's New Bike

His is a 1993 Honda Shadow 1100.  Mine is a 1994.


Saturday, September 1, 2012

Friend's Vacation Photo

You get a huge discount by being the second row back.