Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Project Idea

I would love to see a project where we could get Morgan Freeman (or perhaps Leonard Nimoy) to read messages from my spam folder aloud with light harp music in the background.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013


The wind is blowing so hard the trees look like whomping willows

Thursday, March 14, 2013

More Dreaming

Two nights ago, I dreamed that I was being pursued through the campus of Mega Corporation One by a malevolent cyborg.  It had extensible arms and legs, but because it was part organism, every time it used its extending powers, it started to leak blood from the mechanics.  I don't know if it was supposed to harm me or just harass me.

Later I dreamed that my car was severely damaged while in a parking garage, and my insurance refused to pay for damages.

Last night, I dreamed that I was somehow trapped on the balcony in the Vatican where the pope would be introduced.  I tried to get away, but the exits were all blocked.  The cardinals were leading the new papal cocoon up to the balcony so the new pope could emerge.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

God of War

I just saw this article, and it struck me again.  We've sent ROBOTS to FREAKIN' MARS!

We are indeed living in the future.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Corporate Meetings

Sometimes, in call-in meetings, people will announce that they will have to drop off at a particular time, because of a conflict.  I wish I could say, "I may have to drop off this meeting... if I get bored."

Monday, March 11, 2013


I was just on the phone setting up a concert for our Corporate Choir, and the activities director at the retirement home in question wondered if I knew her cousin who works at Mega Corporation One.  I asked what this cousin's name was, and had to stifle any audible reaction when she said that her married name was (I'm guessing at the spelling) "Hymenbush."

I wonder if her other cousins are Connie and Anna Lingas.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Ah, Spring

When a young man's fancy turns to love.

And when a middle-aged man's fancy turns to cleaning out the house and the mess that the young man leaves in his wake.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Using MS Office for Evil

I was taking minutes in a meeting, and I have a habit of including a Fun Fact when I take the minutes.  Today's fun fact was expressing Capital City's annual rainfall in miles per hour.

It is 0.000000069401.

I used Excel.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Paleontology and Religion

Click to embiggen.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013


I have always been fascinated by ants.  This one is pretty cool.  I would prefer if they stay out of my house, though.

Lousy Smarch Weather

That is all.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013


I had a dream that the corporate powers re-carpeted our floor while I was at lunch.  In the same effort, they added a special bathroom just for managers, and then took the sides and top off the elevators, leaving us with just a dark open platform that didn't quite meet real-life OSHA standards.

When I tried to find someone to raise concerns about this, I was soundly rebuffed.

Monday, March 4, 2013


Our team has decided that we'll confuse our boss by coming up with folksy sayings that are utter nonsense so that Boss will get confused when trying to figure them out.

"That's like putting masking tape on a horse blanket."

"That's about as useful as butter in a tornado."

"You might as well try to teach opera to an octopus."

A coworker just got a 1978 moped (mo-ped, not past tense of mope) working.  He and I decided that we will start saying, "About as useful as a flux capacitor on a moped."

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Cricket Is Safe!

Click to embiggen.

Friday, March 1, 2013

GPop - Yesterday

Via text:

GPop:  What do you get someone who's just lost a Pope?  Hallmark should have a card for that.