So the thought that just ran through my head is, "As long as I look good when HLN broadcasts my trial..."
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
The Coffee Hen arrives on the later end of the Acceptable Window for Flexible Corporate Schedules. I arrive very early in the morning, so I usually have a pot of coffee ready to be poured by 6:45, and my last cup around 8:00. The coffee maker has a timer or something that shuts it off after so much time so that it doesn't burn out or burn the coffee or something. Generally, this means that my last cup is within the "on" part of the cycle, and Coffee Hen's first cup is in the "off" part of the cycle.
She instructed me today that I needed to shut off and turn back on the coffee maker before she gets in so that her cup of coffee is hot. Keep in mind that I have purchased the last four cans of coffee and the last two boxes of filters, and that I make the first pot of coffee almost every morning and clean out the pot, because the afternoon drinkers do not.
Extruded by GDad at 6/25/2013 10:35:00 AM
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Son had his graduation party with best friend Daniel on Saturday. Daniel's 11-year-old sister approached me.
Sister: I know what the theme will be for MY graduation party.
GDad: Really? What will it be?
Sister: Zebras. Zebras that sparkle.
GDad: How about unicorns?
Sister: Ugh. I HATE unicorns.
GDad: Well, you could take a unicorn, saw off its horn, and paint black stripes on it.
Sister: [eyes wide open, and in a very creepy voice] YEESSSSSSS.
Extruded by GDad at 6/20/2013 06:00:00 AM
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Monday, June 10, 2013
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Monday, June 3, 2013
I was at a Subway restaurant the other day. One of the sandwich artists was making my sandwich up until the cheese part. She gave it to the next artist, who put it in the oven at my request. The oven dinged, and Artist 2 put the sandwich back on the preparation tray.
"The sandwich isn't toasted," said I.
Artist 2 stared at the creation, pondering this seeming ontological impossibility.
"You need to press and hold the button," said Artist 1. "Sheesh, I tell people this all the time, and they never believe me."
"We should just call you Cassandra," I quipped.
"Why? Do you know her?" she asked, pointing at Artist 2, whose nametag read "Cassie."
"Oh never mind. Before you were born."
Extruded by GDad at 6/03/2013 05:48:00 PM